Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
