It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
