dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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