I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
