You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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