U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
