the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
