So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
