so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
