Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize