You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize