a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
