Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
They took my balls.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
