So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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