Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
