He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
