Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
