It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You made out with two different species that night
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
