Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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