Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
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