Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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