I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
