I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize