Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
