sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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