We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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