omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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