My room smells like vodka and shame
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
