sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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