either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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