and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
