I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
