reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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