I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
