i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
