Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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