this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
