i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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