She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
