I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
