She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
