the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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