I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
