i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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