Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
