He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize