mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
