apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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