I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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