Cold hands, warm shart.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize