My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
