Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
