I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
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