awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
we're so committed to being not committed
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
