Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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