I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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