Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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