If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
