I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
