im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
