i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize