You really coming over, don't trick.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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