I saw his package. It spoke to me.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
