there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Randomize