Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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