The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
