I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
