I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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