I molested 6 butterflies tonight
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
