So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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