You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Randomize
