Already got asked if we're dating
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
wow bdsm is so cute
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
