didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
