i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize