Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
