Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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