You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
