I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
