Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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