brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
