So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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