Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize