So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
