He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
