Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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