I think scott just propositioned me for sex
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize